Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About kamikazziphantom : I always go on this site and read the "About Me's" when I'm bored, and get really disappointed when somebody either doesn't have one, or has a short one. So, dear sweet About Me reader, I shall not disappoint.
My name is Charley, like a boy only not because I'm a girl. (I use that line often, and with vigor. I think I'm clever.) I have tattoos and scars, and I'm proud of all of them. I like a lot of alternative-rock, indie, electroswing, and electronica music, to name a few. I'm a Psychology major (but of course,) but not a very good student. I love people and what makes us unique...and am generally very accepting, but every now and then I come across somebody who makes me face palm with so much force my mom asks me if I'm being bullied. I'm extremely friendly and would love to message one of you, but I'm on my iPhone. :( But if you want, drop me a line. I check FML on my computer every now and again.
AND THAT, MY DEAR FELLOW STALKER, IS MY ABOUT ME.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML
Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML
Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML
Friday 17 October 2014