kamikazziphantom

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kamikazziphantom

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 November 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1171
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About kamikazziphantom : I always go on this site and read the "About Me's" when I'm bored, and get really disappointed when somebody either doesn't have one, or has a short one. So, dear sweet About Me reader, I shall not disappoint.
My name is Charley, like a boy only not because I'm a girl. (I use that line often, and with vigor. I think I'm clever.) I have tattoos and scars, and I'm proud of all of them. I like a lot of alternative-rock, indie, electroswing, and electronica music, to name a few. I'm a Psychology major (but of course,) but not a very good student. I love people and what makes us unique...and am generally very accepting, but every now and then I come across somebody who makes me face palm with so much force my mom asks me if I'm being bullied. I'm extremely friendly and would love to message one of you, but I'm on my iPhone. :( But if you want, drop me a line. I check FML on my computer every now and again.
AND THAT, MY DEAR FELLOW STALKER, IS MY ABOUT ME.

kamikazziphantom's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of kamikazziphantom's badges

kamikazziphantom's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose that much weight." FML

by Username / 10/06/2010 at 5:59pm / Love

Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 10:33am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

by gretel / 09/16/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

by gretel / 09/16/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

by Lauren / 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

by nothanks / 08/22/2010 at 9:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

by captainocd / 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

by Somethingswrongwiththispic / 08/05/2010 at 4:17am / United States / Health

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walk out to the living room, and tell my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He says no, and then pretends to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous90 / 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

by fattysonparade / 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Health

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

by lalala / 07/18/2010 at 12:02am / Philippines (Manila) / Health

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

by fat / 07/12/2010 at 3:52am / United States / Health