Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About kamikazziphantom : I always go on this site and read the "About Me's" when I'm bored, and get really disappointed when somebody either doesn't have one, or has a short one. So, dear sweet About Me reader, I shall not disappoint.
My name is Charley, like a boy only not because I'm a girl. (I use that line often, and with vigor. I think I'm clever.) I have tattoos and scars, and I'm proud of all of them. I like a lot of alternative-rock, indie, electroswing, and electronica music, to name a few. I'm a Psychology major (but of course,) but not a very good student. I love people and what makes us unique...and am generally very accepting, but every now and then I come across somebody who makes me face palm with so much force my mom asks me if I'm being bullied. I'm extremely friendly and would love to message one of you, but I'm on my iPhone. :( But if you want, drop me a line. I check FML on my computer every now and again.
AND THAT, MY DEAR FELLOW STALKER, IS MY ABOUT ME.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Friday 27 February 2015