kambrai0811

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kambrai0811

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 556
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kambrai0811 : I'm married and have three amazing children! I don't usually comment because people on fml are pretty vicious. Especially when it comes to grammar. ;)
I like to read fml everyday.

kambrai0811's page activity

Visits<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:39am<b>vibernum</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:55am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:52pm<b>A07</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:49am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:46am<b>nightowl713</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:50pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:15am<b>loveafrica</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:13am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:10am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:57am<b>razi1</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:04pm<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 5:46am<b>JD1147</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:05am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:27am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:29pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:35pm

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kambrai0811's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

by broken finger / 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love