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kambrai0811

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kambrai0811

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 258
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kambrai0811 : I'm married and have three amazing children! I don't usually comment because people on fml are pretty vicious. Especially when it comes to grammar. ;)
I like to read fml everyday.

kambrai0811's page activity

Visits<b>vibernum</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:55am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:52pm<b>A07</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:49am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:46am<b>nightowl713</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:50pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:15am<b>loveafrica</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:13am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:10am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:57am<b>razi1</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:04pm<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 5:46am<b>JD1147</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:05am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:27am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:29pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:35pm<b>UmbreonKirby</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:00am

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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kambrai0811's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46416) - you deserved it (6557)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53115) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86595) - you deserved it (6194)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (4348)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (10712)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59540) - you deserved it (21009)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58673) - you deserved it (3819)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (5364)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37280) - you deserved it (4008)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (2245)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14408) - you deserved it (36824) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (8128)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124455) - you deserved it (6498)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53081) - you deserved it (23646)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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