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kalibos666's favorite FMLs
by S.Bunny / 01/22/2010 at 3:14am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Misterhippo / 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
by hamsterlovinn / 06/06/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they… Today I came out to my family as a lesbian. A few days ago, my brother came out as bisexual and my… Today, after being lost for 3 hours outside with low battery, and finally regaining signal, an old…