kalen

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kalen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 August 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1472
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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kalen's page activity

Visits<b>prplr</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 6:16am<b>hallucinog3n</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 10:19am<b>jesslackszazz</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 12:22am

kalen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kalen's favorite FMLs

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

by reconnect / 12/27/2009 at 1:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

by gooddriver / 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

by shushingmoon / 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

by cl512 / 09/18/2009 at 9:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

by mmv / 09/17/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

by Sadmom / 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

by shaggy / 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

by mommy_issues / 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2009 at 12:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

by chasingcars0624 / 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

by helenablitz / 08/28/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous