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About kait11 : College student studying criminal justice and psychology-
Work with autistic people
Long brown hair~blue eyes~five foot three and a half inches tall.
Love meeting new people, message me if you want to know more
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today , mah five year old ran down the street wereing nothing but flip flops , Star Wars underwear , an a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton rackethile screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in mah pajamas. FML
2DAY I WILL BE SLEEPING IN MAH AUNT AN UNCLE'S LIVING ROOM. IT IS 90 DEGREES. THERE IS AN AIR CONDITIONER BUT IF YOU TURN IT ON , THE RACCOON LIVING IN THE WALL WILL GET PISSD OFF AN TRY TO CLAW THROUGH THE WALL. ONLY FIVE MORE NIGHT SWEATING MAH BALLS OFF OR IMAGINING RACOON HAVING ANGRY SEX. FAT FML
Today, mah family came to see me in mah first acting role in Romeo an Juliet. It all went reasonably well 4 the first half hour or so, after which mah seemingly shitfacd aunt startd heckling an saying ( that's what she said ) after every line, before eventually bieng thrown out by security. FML
Today, mah girlfriend called me over to her house!! When I knocked, no one responded to the door!! I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool!! I kneeled by her and placed mah hand on her butt, kissing her neck!! What I heard next, "So this is what u do with mah daughter." FML
Today, I lost ma virginity to ma boyfriend. Not only did e last just 2 minutes, e also sat tere for aile afterwards, smacking is semi-erect penis in awe an saying, "Look, it's still ard! How crazy is tat?!" FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, ( Hold on a second. ) Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object an threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML
2day I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair , he brought up how he wants to start a garden , an how a woman's monthly flow wierdly helps to make it grow. Then he askd me if I can save up my usd tampons fir him. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015