Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kait11

Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 7:18pm) | Search for a member

kait11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3148
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kait11 : College student studying criminal justice and psychology-
Work with autistic people
Long brown hair~blue eyes~five foot three and a half inches tall.
Love meeting new people, message me if you want to know more

kait11's page activity

Visits<b>mikepzz</b> - yesterday at 9:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:30pm<b>kdub2005</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:12am<b>IsaacAmpora</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:49pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:47am<b>Tyler008</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:39pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 7:41am<b>foog19</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:00pm<b>ripjawed</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:05am<b>colombiatti</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:42am<b>ihatemyschool</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:39pm<b>nevertellme</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 4:48pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:44am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:00am<b>NordicPride89</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20pm<b>hamburgerjung</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 1:11am<b>QU33NOFAWKWARD</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 10:41pm

kait11's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kait11's badges

kait11's favorite FMLs

Today , mah five year old ran down the street wereing nothing but flip flops , Star Wars underwear , an a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton rackethile screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in mah pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (8498)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over fir distracted driving. Not fir cell phone use but fir nose picking an inspecting. FML

#17762690
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9687) - you deserved it (35885)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)

Today, mah grlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17865) - you deserved it (48540)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

2DAY I WILL BE SLEEPING IN MAH AUNT AN UNCLE'S LIVING ROOM. IT IS 90 DEGREES. THERE IS AN AIR CONDITIONER BUT IF YOU TURN IT ON , THE RACCOON LIVING IN THE WALL WILL GET PISSD OFF AN TRY TO CLAW THROUGH THE WALL. ONLY FIVE MORE NIGHT SWEATING MAH BALLS OFF OR IMAGINING RACOON HAVING ANGRY SEX. FAT FML

Today, mah family came to see me in mah first acting role in Romeo an Juliet. It all went reasonably well 4 the first half hour or so, after which mah seemingly shitfacd aunt startd heckling an saying ( that's what she said ) after every line, before eventually bieng thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24446) - you deserved it (2091)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today,hile teaching high school class about astronomy , I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand , and asked mehat the "white things" were. In other words , clouds. FML

#17757259
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, mah girlfriend called me over to her house!! When I knocked, no one responded to the door!! I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool!! I kneeled by her and placed mah hand on her butt, kissing her neck!! What I heard next, "So this is what u do with mah daughter." FML

#17753266
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36397) - you deserved it (23404)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lost ma virginity to ma boyfriend. Not only did e last just 2 minutes, e also sat tere for aile afterwards, smacking is semi-erect penis in awe an saying, "Look, it's still ard! How crazy is tat?!" FML

#17751753
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (5413)

On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, ( Hold on a second. ) Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object an threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

#17749628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (1855)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (11510)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85742) - you deserved it (13156)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

2day I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair , he brought up how he wants to start a garden , an how a woman's monthly flow wierdly helps to make it grow. Then he askd me if I can save up my usd tampons fir him. big fat FML

#17724529
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY, I WAS THA VICTIM OF A DRIVA-BY. THA ATTACKARS USD WATAR GUNS. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21849) - you deserved it (5851)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Taday I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrase mah boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

#17705736
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (6012)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I decided to get back into shape. I went fir a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me fir myhole jog , mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (3826)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: