kaimariebee

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Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 7:36pm)

kaimariebee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2411
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kaimariebee : College Grad.
Beautician.
But most importantly, I am a Mother to a beautiful baby girl ♡♥♡.

kaimariebee's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 12:38pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:09am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:24pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:35am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:02pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:34pm<b>123765</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:22am<b>SlashingAverV2</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:19pm<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:18am<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:07am<b>BCguy3</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 7:36pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:38pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 12:43am<b>ZomboticKitteh</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:39am<b>A07</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:32am<b>lisaint</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:16pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:13am

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kaimariebee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

by brhorton02 / 04/06/2009 at 10:42am / United States (New Hampshire) / Money

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

by sheyo / 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

by maxthndr / 02/10/2009 at 12:36am / United States / Work