Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kaimariebee

Search for a member

kaimariebee
  • Town/Country : Houston, Texas, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 591
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kaimariebee : College Grad.
Beautician.
But most importantly, I am a Mother to a beautiful baby girl ♡♥♡.

kaimariebee's last visitors

Edogg215LoveOrHate7michaelf46191hayekHowieDoItincoherentrmblrpantherfan0877maxyutdDoubleDie7Arni792soccerforlife_27that_dancer13

kaimariebee's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of kaimariebee's badges

kaimariebee's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328931) - you deserved it (35695)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14966) - you deserved it (136614)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11547) - you deserved it (168067)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (616840) - you deserved it (413717)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (451622) - you deserved it (32008)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (235543)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: