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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58601) - you deserved it (157000)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color, when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchish popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (5056)
On 06/24/2009 at 4:19pm - animals - by spiderinmylips (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (214122)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (271505)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7469) - you deserved it (87822)
On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (2572)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by layout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8243) - you deserved it (156364)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (4243)
On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10181) - you deserved it (40152)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106532)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (192811)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9539) - you deserved it (167765)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76030) - you deserved it (203414)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (197925)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69482) - you deserved it (2857)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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