kaimariebee

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Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 7:36pm)

kaimariebee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2561
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kaimariebee : College Grad.
Beautician.
But most importantly, I am a Mother to a beautiful baby girl ♡♥♡.

kaimariebee's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 12:38pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:09am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:24pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:35am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:02pm<b>123765</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:22am<b>SlashingAverV2</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:19pm<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:18am<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:07am<b>BCguy3</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 7:36pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:38pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 12:43am<b>ZomboticKitteh</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:39am<b>A07</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:32am<b>lisaint</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:16pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:13am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 9:42pm

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kaimariebee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

by gaggin / 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

by annie_nk / 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Utah) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

by Jolene / 12/26/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

by rightinthekarma / 12/19/2012 at 10:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

by oh gee, you don't say / 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous