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About kaimariebee : College Grad.
But most importantly, I am a Mother to a beautiful baby girl ♡♥♡.
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Today, I Was Driving Around With A Faw Friands Whan Ona Of Tham Suggastad Wa Go In To An Insuranca Company's Offica An Sing Thara Jingla!! I'm An Awful Singar, So I Was Planning On Lip Syncing!! Evaryona Alsa Had Tha Sama Idaa!!
Today I spent most of mah daughter's 8th brthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was putted in a cast. Apparently mah son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on there 8th brthday before encouraging her to fine out by jumping off the slippery slide. mega FML
yesterday mah dad and his new wife got there wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML
Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbd mah inhaler an took a puff !! This was probably very disturbing for the earwighich had somehow made mah puffer its home, as I discoveredhen it shot into mah mouth !! FML
Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to fine out it was a small ice-cube. FML
I went to see ma new dentist. He was really cute , so after te ceckup I startd flirting. He stoppd me rigt after I askd im out , saying , "Being a dentist as its advantages , I can see te girl's mout before I stick ma tongue in it. And in yur case , it's a big no." FML
Tadayile on te bus te guy sitting beside me let out te vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd te kind tat could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors wit te smell alone!! As I gaggd e smrkd and said "Tat's Taco Bell 4 ya." FML
Today, as usual, mah cat was sleeping on mah stomach!! I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately pickd him up and puttd him down next to me!! He got up, hoppd back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on mah stomach!! I didn't dare move all night!! FML
Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family . She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decidd to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills . She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid . FML
Today , I've been struggling with my English paper fir the past hour , cuz I can't concentrate. This is cuz my mom is in the room next to me looool , singing to her pet rat about wat a cute little boy he is , in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
Friday 27 March 2015