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kailey584704

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kailey584704

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 187
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kailey584704's page activity

Visits<b>skittycat213</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:28pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:28pm

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kailey584704's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48522) - you deserved it (14386)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (3510)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (4484)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20335) - you deserved it (25793)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (40286)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (4160)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (6886) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

#14497431
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (6705)

On 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm - misc - by BiteMe14 - United States

Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML

#14494919
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2594)

On 01/07/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by carrottop - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37965) - you deserved it (7988)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21748) - you deserved it (8294)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53817) - you deserved it (3874)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

#11515790
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (43875)

On 06/28/2010 at 9:28am - work - by ladyhavery - United States (Virginia)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42879) - you deserved it (6440)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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