About kagexp : Freddy ^
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (2377)
On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (4256) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14096) - you deserved it (23015)
On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (12411)
On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7216) - you deserved it (25238)
On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3954) - you deserved it (44749)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31235) - you deserved it (7591)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15972) - you deserved it (2400)
On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (2588)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday". He works in a bank and helps "capitalism consumerism" 364 days a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (3618)
On 02/09/2010 at 4:49am - misc - by Brokenheartz - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (2113)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (43727)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (43727)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (43727)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Monday 17 June 2013
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