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jybird

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jybird
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jybird's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39026) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
169 comments

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65028) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52162) - you deserved it (6269)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54282) - you deserved it (6698)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52573) - you deserved it (7043)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (7592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (9470)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
101 comments

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (5096)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (84903)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48156) - you deserved it (5859)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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