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jwr1002's favorite FMLs
by blank / 07/21/2010 at 9:52am / United States / Health
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
by notmuchfun / 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
by 4fucksake / 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Intimacy
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
by anonmys / 07/18/2010 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Love
by allalone / 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML
by embarrassed / 07/03/2010 at 3:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by justsingle / 05/11/2010 at 4:56am / Philippines / Intimacy
by RyanM / 03/10/2010 at 10:00am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML
by lost_ina_dream / 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by VahnSeiro / 02/20/2010 at 1:04am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML
by JustMyLuck / 02/12/2010 at 9:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous
by ChubbyTubby / 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…