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jwr1002

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jwr1002

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  • Number of visits : 311
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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jwr1002's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50112) - you deserved it (3477)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (5619)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38054) - you deserved it (9641)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML

#12998740
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (5158)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

#12989872
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (4094)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by meikd423 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (4405)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

#12547151
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (3458)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm - intimacy - by Anthony - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (16682)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

#12257246
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (4861)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (73916)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (5276)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (6286)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29076) - you deserved it (9430)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (6202)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (49133)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)



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