Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jwilson8

Search for a member

jwilson8
  • Town/Country : St. Louis, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 143
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwilson8 : MD

jwilson8's last visitors

alexmac222jaffvissweet0cheeksaha_awkward_n_bagg05Semperfi92340Fluffasuars_Rawrpsyduck1219rompasaurusireply_wlyricshanna_0619BrookieAnn

jwilson8's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of jwilson8's badges

jwilson8's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4804)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

#14768786
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42554) - you deserved it (3852) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (4370)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (4370)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (2089)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

#14636312
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22784) - you deserved it (5045)

On 01/19/2011 at 6:05am - money - by fuckall (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (45504)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

#14463925
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (12163)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (4435)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14050) - you deserved it (47181)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (18579)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (4806)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: