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Today, I Discovarad That Whan A Cyclist Taars Down Tha Straat, Slaps U Across Tha Faca As Ha Passas, Looks Back Laughing An Flips U Off, Than Crashas Into A Lamppost, Ha'll Still Blama U An Thraatan To Sua, Avan Aftar U Rush Ovar To Chack His Injurias. FML
Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harnes correctly!! For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps!! I cannot un-see that picture!! It wasn't even a harnes safety class!! FML
yesterday I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly . After a few drinks, he calld a cab for us . When it arrivd, I seducingly askd, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both . I'll go to mine and u go to yours" and walkd away . The cab driver laughd the whole way home . FML
Today , I peekd through my window and traind a pair of binocular on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail , he ends up standing in front of his window toples to flex his muscles. This time , I was surprisd to instead find a note tapd to the window saying , ( Sorry , I'm out tonight. ) FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I meanhenever I go in another room an shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try an break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, I was on the phone with mah boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call yur other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to fine out lyk this." FML
Today, I Noticd A Cute Grl In The Checkout Lane At The Store . Feeling A Little Flrtatious, I Decidd To Blow A Bubble With My Gum To Get Her Attention . I Accidentally Shot The Gum Out Of My Mouth Onto The Guy Next To Me, Spitting All Over Myself In The Process . FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, ma mom walked over to te oter side of te store,en a cute guy came over to talk to me. Wen se saw tis se grabbed a bat, walked over to us an said "If u ever even look at ma daugter again, I will beat u sitless." Se was serious. He ran. FML
Today... I found out tat I was not adoptd and in fact my parent r my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long ave I been believing I was adoptd? 22 yeres. Wy did I start believing I was adoptd? My sibling tougt it would be a funny joke. My mom playd along. FML
Friday 27 March 2015