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juuuliaaa

Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 6:27am) | Search for a member

juuuliaaa

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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juuuliaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (27542)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56173) - you deserved it (11983)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41325) - you deserved it (3064)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46706) - you deserved it (17188)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55036) - you deserved it (7749)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (7144)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65788) - you deserved it (5285)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (3483)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67285) - you deserved it (9923)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47180) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31375) - you deserved it (17900)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41071) - you deserved it (5326)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45461) - you deserved it (3837)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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