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juuuliaaa

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juuuliaaa

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  • Number of visits : 353
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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juuuliaaa's FML badges

50 favourites

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Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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juuuliaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48608) - you deserved it (20964)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

#2168919
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60097) - you deserved it (4752)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

#1743823
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60145) - you deserved it (4687)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:28am - health - by gimp. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73323) - you deserved it (8686)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173444) - you deserved it (11618)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
870 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58290) - you deserved it (618518)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75297) - you deserved it (27785)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12939) - you deserved it (62705)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63454) - you deserved it (19539)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (17696)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

#138318
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14158) - you deserved it (68348)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm - intimacy - by banana (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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