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juuuliaaa's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML
by LittleArtist / 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm / United States (Alabama) / Kids
by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by Eri_Midori / 12/24/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Animals
by yarenis / 12/24/2013 at 5:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Rob / 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids
- Today, a cockroach fell from my ceiling when I was getting in bed. This was 10PM when it happened.… Today, my dad picked me up from my friends house because I didn't tell him where I was. This would… Today, someone left a can of scentless bugspray next to the stove, I greased a cake pan with it and…
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…