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justspin
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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 533
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (4815)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84205) - you deserved it (13910)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (4026)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43929) - you deserved it (5685)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35635) - you deserved it (2270)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

#4382906
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14926) - you deserved it (63445)

On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14979) - you deserved it (55905)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (25190)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (85061)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117422) - you deserved it (6618)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49454) - you deserved it (4446)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9426) - you deserved it (81085)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49192) - you deserved it (11023)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

#176117
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (3237)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm - work - by bottlepoppin (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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