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justspin's favorite FMLs
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed / 12/20/2011 at 6:49am / Mauritius / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML
by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
by Clare / 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…