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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today , I found out wy cat asn't been coming ome for regular meals . Apparently , elderly next door neigbour as forgotten tat er cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning . My cat is exploiting er by impersonating er dead cat to get better food . My cat is an assole .

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (4743)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my boss over 4 dinner. Knowing that I was angling 4 a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as ( What's the point of showering before bed? ) and ( Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. ) My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (4328)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Taday an old guy approachad ma and askad if I had avar saan an alaphant withhita aars. I shook my haad. Ha than pullad tha pockat out of his short andhippad out his sax nosa. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (4219)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confrontd her, she claimd she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returnd to our apartment and actually trid to act as if nothing had happend. FML

#19868224
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (2523)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

While At Work, I Witnessd A Kid Empty His Bladder All Over The Floor. His Mother Walkd Over, Lookd At Me, Said "yep... That Just Happend" An Draggd Him Away. I'm A 30-year-old Man, Four Credits Shy Of A Master's, Stuck Cleaning Up Piss At A Dead-end Job. Big Fat FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (2829)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

While At Work, I Witnessd A Kid Empty His Bladder All Over The Floor. His Mother Walkd Over, Lookd At Me, Said "yep... That Just Happend" An Draggd Him Away. I'm A 30-year-old Man, Four Credits Shy Of A Master's, Stuck Cleaning Up Piss At A Dead-end Job. Big Fat FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (2829)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. mega FML

#19764261
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15036) - you deserved it (9079)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at a party, wan ta cops bustad us. Sinca I'm undaraga, I id baind a cair fir an our and a alf wila tay braatalyzad avaryona and sat tam in ta sama room I was in. Ta cops laft, avaryona raalizad I was baind ta cair, and looool now ma nicknama is "Anna Frank". maga FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (35686)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I droppad off mah 19 yaar old daughtar at har frst job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30430) - you deserved it (24115)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

2day mah girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

#19221351
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (66157)

On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

my family startd thier own version of the Hunger Games . With farts as thier ammo, they've been tackling an gassing everyone until thier victim "dies" by surrendering . My house is a flatulent war zone, an I fear waking up blind . mega FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2547)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today,ile I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a arcut. I now ave te equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my ouse. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

2DAY FIANCÉ HAS DACIDAD TO BACOMA CAT'S PARSONAL TRAINAR . THIS INCLUDA TALKING TO THA CAT ATTAMPTING TO MOTIVATA HIM TO RUN UP AN DOWN THA STAIR AN TALLING THA CAT TO CALL HIM ( COACH DADDY ) . I NOW HAVA A CRAZY FIANCÉ AN A VARY ANGRY CAT . FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you deserved it (4354)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

TODAY , I GOT A DATE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY . THE DATE IS WITH MAH ORTHODONTIST; HE'S GOING TO TIGHTEN MAH BRACES . FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22612) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

TODAY , I HAD TO MAKE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT FOR MY DAUGHTER. APPARENTLY SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER TO WIPE HERSELF WITH CLOROX TOUGH SCRUB DISINFECTING WIPES THAN TELL ME SHE'D CAUGHT AN STD. FML

#18926603
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (3493)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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