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juston_p

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juston_p

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1652
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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juston_p's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32730) - you deserved it (7256)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2906)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

#17877282
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14027) - you deserved it (46034)

On 10/01/2011 at 8:33am - misc - by lollipopgreen - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you deserved it (6904)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

#17863556
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Help. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25858) - you deserved it (2002)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (4421)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (20188)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (43744)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML

#17839244
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm - money - by This Guy - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (15116)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (7010)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
560 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (17110)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (4579)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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