justlikeme79

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/19/2016 at 11:48pm)

justlikeme79

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 950
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

justlikeme79's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:43am<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:55am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:23pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Twinkieboy1</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:56pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:01pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:11am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:53pm<b>scarman</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 10:23pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:03pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:16pm<b>baba01</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 7:57am<b>katydid91</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:29am<b>perdix</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 2:43pm<b>fuqmilife</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:01pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 12/19/2011 at 3:06am

justlikeme79's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of justlikeme79's badges

justlikeme79's favorite FMLs

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm / United States / Health

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

by anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

by kittyslayer / 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals