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justlikeme79's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm / United States / Health
by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by kittyslayer / 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Holidays
by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML
by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to… Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to… Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile…