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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29478) - you deserved it (13430)
On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (7564)
On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (15076)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (15076)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (15076)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10400) - you deserved it (23670)
On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (6310)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (3067)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (2233)
On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (10893)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54624) - you deserved it (12513)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5780) - you deserved it (61059)
On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17925)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48670) - you deserved it (2036)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy
Friday 24 May 2013
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