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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (4949)
On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (29760)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47873) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (3708)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (4700)
On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (31218)
On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8670) - you deserved it (31479)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (43835)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I puked up a centipede. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (5743)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (8847)
On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States
Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (3353)
On 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm - kids - by Angie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (4526)
On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (6158)
On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (19362)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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