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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (2309)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (1729)
On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (17074)
Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (2138)
On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14812) - you deserved it (4261)
On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20355) - you deserved it (3782)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (1835)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18160) - you deserved it (3411)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (3458)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15903) - you deserved it (2684)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13855) - you deserved it (2830)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (16526)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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