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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (5672)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43186) - you deserved it (4500)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (6501)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (2941)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (4421)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53694) - you deserved it (7632)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53694) - you deserved it (7632)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48377) - you deserved it (5782)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53001) - you deserved it (9757)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36682) - you deserved it (2349) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (9425)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (32822) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (4099)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (3456)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (1532)
On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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