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just_my_luck19

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just_my_luck19

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  • Number of visits : 202
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  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

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just_my_luck19's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (3833)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37797) - you deserved it (7773)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (18062)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35483) - you deserved it (2779)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42353) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (4226)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34385) - you deserved it (2544)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (95731)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (61189)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML

#16464614
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (2572)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:27am - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20199) - you deserved it (67155)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

#15139053
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (7224)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML

#14825701
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (6007)

On 02/03/2011 at 11:42am - misc - by Kere (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

#14682600
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (7221)

On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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