jussjess

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jussjess

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1323
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jussjess : I'm probably more sympathetic than 99.9% of you, but then again...maybe not. :)

jussjess's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 7:09am<b>enter______name</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:58am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:11pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:04am<b>XXxxUFCxxXX</b> - the 12/03/2010 at 8:06pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 12:29pm<b>CoachLlama</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 7:13pm<b>RosiePatosie</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 6:50pm<b>BahBah_The_Sheep</b> - the 10/14/2010 at 3:09pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 10/14/2010 at 11:10am<b>Apparatus333</b> - the 10/05/2010 at 12:28pm<b>secretcina</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 2:47am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 08/29/2010 at 5:27pm<b>heyroy</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 6:00pm<b>bongsewer</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 9:26am<b>grv</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 3:12pm<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 08/19/2010 at 3:04pm<b>BadLuckTuck</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 4:51am

jussjess's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jussjess's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 12:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML

by BadtoWorse / 03/23/2010 at 10:51am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML

by anonymous / 03/19/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

by hungryman / 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work