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jussjess

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jussjess

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 971
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jussjess : I'm probably more sympathetic than 99.9% of you, but then again...maybe not. :)

jussjess's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:11pm<b>XXxxUFCxxXX</b> - the 12/03/2010 at 8:06pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 12:29pm<b>CoachLlama</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 7:13pm<b>RosiePatosie</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 6:50pm<b>BahBah_The_Sheep</b> - the 10/14/2010 at 3:09pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 10/14/2010 at 11:10am<b>Apparatus333</b> - the 10/05/2010 at 12:28pm<b>secretcina</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 2:47am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 08/29/2010 at 5:27pm<b>heyroy</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 6:00pm<b>bongsewer</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 9:26am<b>grv</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 3:12pm<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 08/19/2010 at 3:04pm<b>BadLuckTuck</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 4:51am<b>ally_anonymous</b> - the 08/15/2010 at 11:50am<b>derrable</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 9:57am<b>McMarlin</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 3:06am

jussjess's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jussjess's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (3727)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97736) - you deserved it (5641)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (5580)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML

#9327043
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (3940)

On 03/23/2010 at 10:51am - intimacy - by BadtoWorse (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML

#9205385
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16371) - you deserved it (20714)

On 03/19/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (8290)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (2267)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (2636)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column for my college paper, and I've tried everything on their menu. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (8260)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58288) - you deserved it (7458)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
681 comments

I agree, your life sucks (691790) - you deserved it (55733)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (17699)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)



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