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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12452) - you deserved it (65664)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Prometheus (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10440) - you deserved it (69940)
On 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73130) - you deserved it (24452)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7925) - you deserved it (71033)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10381) - you deserved it (57533)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (85918)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (49003)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47507) - you deserved it (3043)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (30977)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51730) - you deserved it (2851)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61384) - you deserved it (6684)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Damn_her (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (11377)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55576) - you deserved it (323786)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (55975)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (21157)
On 02/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by thedullard (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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