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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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junkiegutterpunk

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junkiegutterpunk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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junkiegutterpunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks (6269) - you deserved it (25416)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907 (461)

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (8399)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (6313)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (3755)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (4684)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (16114) - you deserved it (8023)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

#11991356 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (15923) - you deserved it (6310)

On 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by PrintMaster - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (7342)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

#11571448 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (28625) - you deserved it (2046)

On 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by Katie (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (391)

I agree, your life sucks (43584) - you deserved it (4464)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (1412)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (5110) - you deserved it (21809)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (5949) - you deserved it (21551)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (4641) - you deserved it (16348)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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