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junegirl63's favorite FMLs
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by NeverDrinkingAgain / 12/09/2010 at 7:31am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
by fulloshit / 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Kansas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love
Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML
by me / 11/12/2010 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML
by robbyrabbit / 11/11/2010 at 2:41am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo / 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML
by hannibal / 11/02/2010 at 9:44am / Australia / Transportation
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by obsceene / 10/18/2010 at 6:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML
by Laura / 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm / United States / Kids
by Lauren / 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
- Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…