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junegirl63's favorite FMLs
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by NeverDrinkingAgain / 12/09/2010 at 7:31am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
by fulloshit / 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Kansas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love
Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML
by me / 11/12/2010 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML
by robbyrabbit / 11/11/2010 at 2:41am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo / 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML
by hannibal / 11/02/2010 at 9:44am / Australia / Transportation
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by obsceene / 10/18/2010 at 6:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML
by Laura / 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm / United States / Kids
by Lauren / 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…