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junegirl63's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Ali (New York) / 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
by Anon / 05/18/2011 at 7:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 6:06am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Blondie / 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Health
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 1:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
by wowimscrewed / 04/14/2011 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…