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Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (319901) - you deserved it (66431)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (171565) - you deserved it (24821)
On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12637) - you deserved it (56474)
On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (81864)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (65741)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460279) - you deserved it (571873)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (4179)
On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58996) - you deserved it (18181)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (56108)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53202) - you deserved it (584787)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (31351)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9332) - you deserved it (58789)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65409) - you deserved it (8893)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177444) - you deserved it (61368)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51791) - you deserved it (2468)
On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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