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junegirl63's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML
by drugbaby / 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, after months of constant encouragement from my friends, I went and entered a singing contest. I sang and was booed off stage. Later on I found out my friends lied to me about my ability to sing, just so I could give them a cheap laugh. FML
by Dean / 12/15/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
by _RobotInDisguise / 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love
by aawkward... / 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
by lol smiley face / 11/28/2009 at 10:57am / United States / Love
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML
by OpenWide / 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
by DeeElleGee / 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by toughlove / 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by oldlady / 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML
by Allie / 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2009 at 6:27am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…