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junegirl63's FML badges
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junegirl63's favorite FMLs
Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML
by Stressy / 02/12/2010 at 6:39am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Health
by Nick / 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by squishy / 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML
by doggie_doo_face / 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
by donkeyd / 02/05/2010 at 11:29am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by nonameLiz / 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by mollymaykitty / 02/02/2010 at 1:38pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
by Juggalette / 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
by iluvjenknee / 01/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML
by queen / 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm / Brazil (Minas Gerais) / Intimacy
by omgboobs / 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML
by GlassPwn / 12/19/2009 at 12:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…