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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (3008)
On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (4478)
On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States
Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (3946)
On 08/07/2011 at 5:52am - kids - by myheart75 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (6253)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (1990)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (3838)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (6311)
On 02/06/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by xxxchelsiexxx - United States
Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (36314)
On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81138) - you deserved it (15203)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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