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jumpinghippos's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML
by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by pablito / 04/17/2014 at 6:37am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals
by author / 02/14/2014 at 9:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML
by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm / Transportation
Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love
by StefanKa / 09/09/2013 at 5:30am / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Animals
- Today, my teacher announced that a project was due next week. This would've been fine, if we hadn't… Today, I was telling a boy a joke that involved a "secret boyfriend". When I finished it, he asked… Today, there was a problem with payroll at work. Instead of being paid for 38 hours I was paid for…