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jumperparty

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jumperparty

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 294
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jumperparty : Im homeless and I like pie ;)

jumperparty's page activity

Visits<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:56am

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jumperparty's favorite FMLs

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41161) - you deserved it (4958)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (5300)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (4273)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61922) - you deserved it (5034)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48181) - you deserved it (5095)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (4937)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58110) - you deserved it (8268)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47354) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46722) - you deserved it (3743)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

#21150394
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42396) - you deserved it (5457)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by thankssiren (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (4985)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47035) - you deserved it (9180)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States



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