julielee509

Search for a member

julielee509

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4590
  • Number of comments : 342
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About julielee509 : Love to read these unfortunate, yet funny stories.

julielee509's page activity

Visits<b>yaz_cassandra</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:52am<b>maggeei</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:57pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 10:32am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 4:11pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:10am<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 11:23am<b>l4urenz</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 8:04am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:34am<b>Majandros</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:34pm<b>dankmemes710</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:23am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:31pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:01pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:42pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:48pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 5:34am<b>sevazilla</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:48am<b>young_cat_lady</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:37am

julielee509's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of julielee509's badges

julielee509's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

by bloodyfreakinawful / 12/14/2012 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

by Ethan_18 / 12/14/2012 at 12:10am / United States / Kids

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

by rahavan / 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

by creedonfied / 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids