julian928

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julian928

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1181
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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julian928's page activity

Visits<b>SeniorPie</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm<b>pondhop</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:15pm<b>tannara</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:37am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 4:01pm

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julian928's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

by tryingtobepretty101 / 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 9:45am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

by WoWWidow / 09/02/2011 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

by djfail / 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my father. He was drunk and singing in the street. At 1:25pm. FML

by DogDoingScience / 09/01/2011 at 11:45am / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 3:07am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

by bob / 09/01/2011 at 1:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

by Username / 08/13/2011 at 7:45am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

by sydneybourgeois / 08/13/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love