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julian928

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julian928
  • Town/Country : San Juan Texas, U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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julian928's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (4447)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (7414)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25571) - you deserved it (16745)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (4154)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (4367)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I ran into my father. He was drunk and singing in the street. At 1:25pm. FML

#17635094
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by DogDoingScience (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

#17633677
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/01/2011 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24908) - you deserved it (1979)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

#17458354
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/13/2011 at 7:45am - love - by Username - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14785) - you deserved it (23420)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37442) - you deserved it (4053)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (13932)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)



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