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juliaaalove's favorite FMLs
by unfortunategeek / 12/23/2010 at 11:13am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
by MichiganExile / 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand… Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of… Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms…
- Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I…