About julako : "I am a linguist. I love ambiguity more than most people."
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julako's favorite FMLs
Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML
by rnw / 07/21/2016 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by LacrosseFAIL / 07/16/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by FrozenAnonymus / 07/14/2016 at 2:05pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Animals
by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by katiebug / 07/11/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek
Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML
by anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
by Cinnanyan / 06/02/2016 at 6:20am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous
by Humpday / 05/29/2016 at 5:36pm / United States / Love
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
by Sloppy Cashmere / 05/09/2016 at 5:26pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 04/28/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love
by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…