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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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judomemo

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judomemo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 241
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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judomemo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (4425)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirts reflection. FML

#8324866 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (3681) - you deserved it (20396)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (5729)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

#6351238 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (6044) - you deserved it (20442)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by ohjoy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML

#6269978 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (3524)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:00am - misc - by helluvasinger (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, after going to the bathroom, I saw what I thought was a hidden camera in the air vent. Freaking out, I called the cops as I thought someone was spying on me. When they got to my house they burst out laughing - it was a mini air freshener. FML

#5052532 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5085) - you deserved it (29446)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:18am - money - by 1800_idontcare (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

#4644614 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (4090)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by lakatkat - United States (California)

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

#3215431 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (59319) - you deserved it (4308)

On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (34921)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

#2049243 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (13193)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by poop (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (53307)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (46432)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)