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About ju5t_0b53rv1n6 : ^^^^^^^
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4088) - you deserved it (18896)
On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14123) - you deserved it (1477)
On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5356) - you deserved it (31700)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3755) - you deserved it (23560)
On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a date in my dreams. It was a pity date, with someone who is already taken. I can't even get a real date in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (2444)
On 11/24/2009 at 5:49am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (1478)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51899) - you deserved it (3372)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4471) - you deserved it (77809)
On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (137104) - you deserved it (19620)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (9155)
On 06/15/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by shaverguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86790) - you deserved it (7139)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my fiance proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiance stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60443) - you deserved it (9542)
On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34380) - you deserved it (7624)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12077) - you deserved it (151043)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (65051)
On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
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