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jtocool

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jtocool
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  • Number of visits : 29
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jtocool's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (8491)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47344) - you deserved it (2375)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53691) - you deserved it (7633)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (5435)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47016) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (3957)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my coworker learned that I'm an Israeli Jew. He told me, in the same sentence, that Jews should "get the fuck out of Israel" and also "get out of Australia and back to your own country." Um, what? FML

#20572737
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (5295)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:53am - work - by JewSoSilly (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (11656)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (1637)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (1959)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (1636)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (4150)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (32644)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (1651)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML

#20518428
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (2698)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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