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jtocool

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jtocool

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jtocool's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46143) - you deserved it (4210)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42710) - you deserved it (6215)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (3799)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39482) - you deserved it (11555)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48268) - you deserved it (8043)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37388) - you deserved it (5747)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47085) - you deserved it (4457)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42032) - you deserved it (4607)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40417) - you deserved it (2521)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML



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Friday 28 November 2014

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