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jtaylor991

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jtaylor991
  • Town/Country : Kansas City, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 August 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 1770
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

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jtaylor991's favorite FMLs

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (25803)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML

#19534101
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8261) - you deserved it (16149)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:04pm - misc - by AndyAnonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22407) - you deserved it (2229)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41898) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2683)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5397) - you deserved it (22270)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5456) - you deserved it (22322)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16317) - you deserved it (2935)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19165) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20305) - you deserved it (4734)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6169) - you deserved it (35493)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (5636)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)



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